Some years ago I saw a movie called, "Joshua". It was based on the book, "Joshua, A Parable for Today", by Joseph F. Girzone.
The story basically is Jesus, in modern times, showing up in a small town almost like a drifter, and he makes a huge impact on everyone he comes in contact with. In one particular scene, toward the end of the movie, a young lady who tragically lost her husband, the love of her life, out of anger and frustration picks up a crystal vase, smashes it on the ground and runs out. The scene ends with Joshua starting to pick up the broken pieces. Sometime later, after Joshua's gone, the priest is talking to this same young lady, who is also leaving, and he says to her, "Joshua wanted me to give you this", and he held out a beautiful figurine of a woman made from all the broken pieces of the vase. As she held it she said, "He made something beautiful." I choke up every time I think about that scene because it hits me like a ton of bricks: He didn't put the vase back together again. He took the broken peices and he made something new, something different. The thing is, this NEW thing was far more beautiful than what it had been originally.
When we find ourselves in that place where our lives are nothing but broken shards of the beauty that once was, it's easy to become overwhelmed with feelings of hopelessness and despondancy. I want the beautiful vase back. I want my old job back, the relationship restored, the health problems fixed. I either yearn to turn back the clock and try to do better so maybe the vase won't get broken, or else I want God to put the vase back together again. But maybe God intends to do something else. When God asks, "do you not perceive it?" The answer is, no I don't perceive it. All I see is broken glass.
Now it may seem that the simple solution is to simply stop focusing on the problem and look up in expectation and watch God start to move. Right? Sounds so simple and so ideal, BUT...,
Not happening.
That is the answer but it's just not that simple.
So how do we move beyond the broken mess and wait in expectation for God to take the broken pieces and make something beautiful? I don't pretend that I have the answers but I did run across something that I had never seen before. It's at the end of the book of Dueteronomy. Moses has gone up Mt. Nebo, never to return. He's dead. The Lord is about to do a "new" thing. Joshua is going to be the new leader and the israelites are going to go in and conquer the promised land. But there's a little verse in chapter 34 that really stood out to me. Vs 8,
"The Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days, until the time of weeping and mourning was over."
So now begins the mission of conquering the land of Canaan, but for thirty days, nothing is going to happen. They're taking the month off. It's as if God is saying, "I have a plan. But before I impliment my plan, you need time to grieve the loss of your leader and process the loss before you can move forward with this new thing I am about to do." Now at first glance that may seem a little unreasonable to think that people would be ready to move on in thirty days, particulary Joshua and the priests who had been intimately close to Moses and for whom the loss would have been very deep. Sometimes the wounds and the pain of loss can last for years. True. But I wonder, in our nine to five, "planes to catch, bills to pay" (nod to the late Harry Chapin) world, do we even get any real time to grieve and process loss. Is it possible that a "moment of silence" observed at a baseball game is all the time many of us ever get. What if we actually took time to grieve? Would so many of us be "walking wounded"? I seriously believe that those of us who have deep wounds from loss would be much healthier mentally, emotionally and spiritually if we had taken time to grieve and process what's been lost or broken.
Now the truth is, there are some losses that people don't ever completely get over. I have heard that the greatest loss is when a parent loses a child. I don't see how anyone fully recovers from that. Perhaps in such cases, healing means coming to a place where they can move forward with their lives. But it can't happen if they've never been allowed to grieve and mourn. And then to process, because that is important. Life is going to be different moving forward.
In this verse I believe that God also tells us that loss is real. He doesn't minimize it. In the new testament we see Jesus weeping over Lazarus, a man who in a few moments is going to be alive again. WE need to acknowledge that our loss and pain is real. Sometimes I get impatient with myself and think I should be moving on. Often, I am trying to accomplish the same level of productivity that I could accomplish before I experienced the loss. That is simply not reasonable. We don't expect a person with a sprained ankle to be able to walk like he did when his ankle was fine. In the same way, we can't expect ourselves to be able to perform at the same level we did when were weren't dealing with the pain of brokenness and loss. We may need to come to grips with the fact that for a time, we may not get much done.
So here's what I've gathered from all of this. See if this helps:
1. Acknowledge the loss and brokenness; it's real. Even if you think it's not as bad as what someone else is gong through. It's still a loss. If it truly is not as bad, you will heal more quickly. Makes sense. Simple as that.
2. Take time to grieve and process it. Even if it means taking an afternoon here and there to be alone. Don't be ashamed to cry (GUYS)...,even if a lot of time has passed. It's OK. Sometimes the healing simply means the ability to go on with your life. The grief may come on you heavy at times even years later, but it won't be crippling like it was at first.
3. Realize that things are going to be different now. Most likely, God won't put the vase back together. As he said to Joshua in Joshua 1:2, "Moses my servant is dead." He's gone. He's not coming back. Things are different now. Then He said, "Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give them...." It wasn't until after the time of mourning and weeping, when all of the people had been given time to grieve and process the loss; that's when God said, "Let's move forward. Go conquer Canaan." Now they were ready for God to do something new. It's after we have had our time of mourning and weeping that we can then be prepared for God to take the broken shards of our lives and make something new.
Trust him! It's going to be beautiful.
